Saturday, June 2, 2018

Horse Shit

The only thing I like about horse shit is the smell.  Seriously!  It's rich, sure, but undeniably bucolic.  Probably the same reason I like Crotte du Diable ("Shit of the Devil") and other strong cheeses.  They all have that robust agrarian appeal.  And I believe I've heard it said by Those-who-should-Know that 90% of taste is smell - so the implication is irrefutable.  Paradoxically horse shit has an element of unspoilt.  Yet the thing about horse shit, apart from its invigorating natural bouquet, is that it tends to ruin an otherwise pleasing acquaintance. Whatever good that attends horse shit, it is distinctly lacking in wholesomeness.  Nothing in my opinion spoils a conversation more quickly than horse shit.

Seemingly the affection for direct colloquy competes with the more easy-going content of casual conversation, as though somehow one's mental capacity is diminished by the particular vernacular.  Pshaw! What could be more tiresome!  All conversation - if it is to have any fragrance at all - must be serious on some level or another.  By which I do not include deceit or subterfuge. Sophistry of any degree is a hoax. Who has time for it! So that's the first problem with horse shit - it wastes time. This isn't to say I haven't the inclination for comedy - but it mustn't trump honest accounting.

That perhaps is the second objection to horse shit - it blankets truth. Now I know we all lie to one extent or another - and no doubt we attempt to camouflage our most blunt opinions with blarney - but the calculated use of misstatement is offensive.  It is acceptable cause for the removal of oneself from the company of another. Such precipitous action is meant to communicate an equally weighty corollary.

There's another thing:  horse shit eliminates the depth of a relationship.  The poison is not only what it promotes but also what it destroys. Any thinking person cannot with integrity allow himself or herself to be tossed about on a pile of horse shit. It is simply undignified. Not to mention the fetid repercussion.

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